You are about to embark on a journey to get your ex back. This Five Step process to get your ex back has been carefully thought out, researched and tested for years by our hundreds of thousands of readers. Each step has a specific purpose and will move you one step closer to a happier life with a successful, fulfilling relationship.
Step One: Rein in Your Emotions
While all five steps are important, this is the most important for one simple reason. You will not be able to successfully complete the other four steps without mastering Step One!
Your emotions are all over the place right now, in part because you are experiencing the different stages of mourning your relationship, something you’ll learn about in this step. While this is normal, it’s also important to learn how to regain control of those emotions so you can use rational thought processes to assess the breakup, regain your confidence, toy with his psyche and plan to meet him – the remaining four steps.
In Step One, you will learn about our version of the No Contact Rule, more about your emotional mind and how to control it, the importance of not retreating into yourself right now, those stages of mourning your relationship, why you shouldn’t freak out about his rebound relationship, how he lied to you about the reason for the breakup and why, as well as actions you maybe engaging in that are ruining your chances of getting him back.
Step Two: Assess the Breakup
Once you have your emotions under control and you can once again engage in logical thought processes, it’s time to move on to Step Two, Assess the Breakup. This means learning about the dealbreakers – reasons why you will not be getting back with your ex. You’ll also learn the number one cause of most breakups and how to fix it, what he’s thinking right now, how and why you need to take him off his pedestal, why it’s important to be honest with yourself about the relaitonship and breakup and how you feel and the difference between missing him and missing someone in your life. You’ll also learn how to assess whether he’s healthy enough and capable of love and what your role in the breakup may have been and how you can fix things.
This step is all about taking a hard look at what happened between you and understanding how things must change in order to begin a new relationship with your ex. This isn’t a step to be skipped, unless you plan on repeating those same mistakes again and ending up right back where you are now – broken up.
A breakup occurs because something is broken and this is your time to figure out what so you can work on fixing it.
Step Three: Rebuild Your Confidence
All breakups cause both parties to lose some self-confidence. You begin to beat yourself up over what you perceive to be your mistakes and he may contribute to that by placing an unreasonable amount of blame on you as well. Step Three is about getting real and rebuilding your confidence.
The truth, of course, as you discovered in Step Two, is that you were both at fault, to some extent. There is never just one person responsible for a breakup. In this step, you’ll learn about the importance of being an independent woman and how to become one, how to make positive changes in your life, how to break your routine and why this is a big deal, and the importance of self-care and how to get started.
You’ll also learn how to create a vision for your life and begin writing your new story. You’ll learn the importance of not living in the past and the difference between begin a student and a victim. You’ll learn how to become a student!
Step Four: Toy With His Psyche
Step Four is where you’ll start tweaking his good memories of your relationship. This is important because up until now, he’s been hyper-focused on the negatives. He will begin to see that, while he thought he had you on the hook as his beck-and-call girl, he might instead be losing you. We want him to think this, so don’t panic!
He will also begin to see the You 2.0 that you’ve been working so hard on, and he will begin to become intrigued. Also a good thing!
Finally, he will gain an understanding that, while he thought he could breakup with you and see other women, you can be broken up from him and see other men. He really figured you would stay curled up in the fetal position until he was ready to come back, but you aren’t and he’s getting worried!
All good stuff and all will help you move toward your goal of getting him back!
Step Five: Plan to Meet Him
Finally, the Step you’ve been waiting for! Step Five – Plan to Meet Him. You’ve done great work to get to Step Five and it’s about to pay off. In this step, you’ll learn how to get him to suggest a meeting, you’ll formulate your plan for meeting him again and you’ll prepare your acknowledgement of your role in the breakup.
These things will throw him for a loop, but they’ll also intrigue him. Of course, you’ll also be prepared for his shenanigans, which will likely include an attempt to push old buttons to see if you’ve really changed and his skepticism over whether you’ve really changed.
He won’t be prepared for this new version of you, but you’ll be prepared for him! Regardless of outcome you seek with this meeting, you’ll go into it well-prepared!