Have you ever found yourself dreaming of an ex, only to wake up and wonder why? Whether you want your ex back or you never want to see him again, there are some reasons for your dreams and some things you can do about them.

Why You’re Dreaming of an Ex: You Long for the Past

The older you get, the more complicated life becomes, but I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know! You might be dreaming about your ex because you long for simpler times when your life was more fun. Some of those fun times might include your ex, so it’s natural to find him there.

When I was eight years old, I had a friend named Elizabeth. My older sister called her my girlfriend, much to my horror, but the thing is that I really liked her and looking back, even though we were so young, she was my girlfriend. Those days were fun! I remember riding my bike down dirt trails behind my house with Liz and my dog Larry.

When I dream of Liz, I think I’m wishing for those simpler times. It isn’t so much about her as it is about the freedom and fun of those childhood days.

You’re Seeking Closure

A breakup may have left you with unresolved questions and emotional pain. He might not have given you any reason for the breakup and you’ve taken all the blame upon yourself since then. Your unconscious mind stores bits and pieces of the past and when you’re feeling stressed, those can show up in your dreams.

A great way to resolve this is to deal with those unresolved emotions. Face the hurt and acknowledge your feelings. There really is no such thing as closure. The pain is still there. What you’re seeking are answers you’ll probably never get. Instead of continuing to stew over those questions, let the breakup go. If you’re living in this type of past, you’re not allowing yourself the freedom to move forward into a happier relationship.

A great tool is to write him a letter and tell him you forgive him. Then, rip it up and throw it away! He never needs to see it but you need to write it. It’s very cleansing! You’re doing this for yourself so you can finally let him go. It’s empowering and might stop you from dreaming of an ex moving forward.

dreaming of an ex

You Want Him Back

Breakups are traumatic and it takes time to get over the negative feelings and to forget the hurt. It’s possible you’ve blocked memories of him to avoid those emotions, but years later, you’ve grown and changed. You might not think of him as negatively as you did right after the breakup and you might even recognize your own role in the breakup, now that time has passed. Dreaming of an ex is your subconscious mind suggesting you reach out to him.

If you think this is possible, take inventory of how you feel about him today. Is it worth reaching out to him? Are you confident and strong enough to talk to him? It could be fun to catch up with him, and if it’s been a few years, he may have changed as well. There’s no way to know if that’s a good or bad thing, but catching up with an old friend might not hurt.

What Can You Do About Dreaming of an Ex?


Use a journal to write your dreams and then how you feel about them. If you’re having trouble recalling the details of your dream, set an alarm to wake up thirty minutes earlier. This extra time will enable you to catch yourself inside the dream so you can remember it clearly.

Practice Relaxation Techniques

Stress is often the instigator of dreams and there are many things you can do to alleviate stress. Try Yoga or meditation to help you relax. You can also implement an exercise routine, which helps pump happy hormones through your body. Even a walk will do the trick. The idea is to reduce the amount of stress you have before you go to sleep, thus returning your dreams to a more normal state.

If You’re Dreaming of an Ex, Get Busy

When you’re single and lonely, dreaming of an ex might be sending a different message. Your relationship with your last ex was probably the last time you felt alive and complete. You shared great times together and you want to experience more of that in your life.

This doesn’t mean it’s time to get back together with him, but it does mean it’s time to get out there and start experiencing life again. Find some new men to date! Try new hobbies. Join some local groups and rejoin the human race.

Once you find a new guy to dream about, you won’t spend so much time dreaming of an ex!

Dreaming of an Ex-Conclusion
Dreams are complicated, and your mind probably conjures up some wild and crazy stuff from time to time. Those dreams can have deep meaning, or they can be insignificant. Instead of getting anxious and worried, have fun with them. Write them down in your journal and see if you can uncover any hidden meaning.

Work toward eliminating the stressors in your life and if your dreams turn into nightmares, it may be time to seek professional help.

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