It’s happening, you have set a time to meet up with your ex. He wanted the meeting or, after reading his positive vibes, you requested it. So how do you act? What do you say? What do you avoid? Where do you meet?

Your ex might be testing you. He might not be ready to get back together. But he wants to know where you stand in case he finds his singles life isn’t what he expected.

Other guys think they want to get back together but their skeletons are still blocking them.

Meet up With Your Ex | How do You Act?

When you meet up with your ex, your goal should be to listen about eighty percent of the time. During your twenty percent, you can share the new things in your life and, if it’s needed, you can apologize once for your part in the failed relationship. Otherwise, you are happy and excited about your new life including meeting up with your ex.

Where do You Meet?

Meet up with your ex where there is no alcohol and little to no chance for sex. Dates during the day and in public are the best. That means bars and dinner are a no. This is a meeting, not a date.

Also, make sure you carefully plan before the two of you meet again. This sets a new precedent that you hold the power. Power that you might have lost when he dumped you.

How Long Does the Meet Up with Your Ex Last?

Thirty minutes is a good guideline. It can be more if he has a lot say, you’re listening, and he is saying positive things.  After thirty minutes, you get up and politely say you have plans and you need to go. Thank him for getting together and say that you will be in touch.

Again, this shows power and tells him he ranks lower on your priority list than he did when you were together. He thinks you might be meeting a new guy. This is good.

What do You Avoid?


You know this and yet sooo many women contact me in tears because they failed on this one. They need to start all over because their ex got what he wanted and is now not responding. Do not go down this path! Sex is a controlling card in this love game. Use it to your advantage! If all he wants from you is sex, you can do better and it’s time to move on.

If you find yourself in this regrettable spot, learn what to do to recover.


He might try to trigger your hot buttons by blaming you or bringing up something hurtful. He may accuse you of cheating in the past when this was never the case. Do not allow him to take you down this road. Politely get up and leave.

You’re more controlled and an independent woman now and you do not need to put up with this type of behavior. You deserve someone better.

This is still positive. You are gaining intel and the intel states that he is not ready to get back together. File this intel and try again, possibly. Reassess whether he’s worthy of you and how long you’re willing to wait for him to change his tune. Go home get back on your dating apps 😊

meet up with your ex

Spilling your guts

This is another way in which you can mess up your meet up with your ex. He might be opening up with his feelings which might make you want to open up too. Don’t! Remember, eighty percent of what you’re doing in this meeting is listening. Share bits and pieces of what you have been up to, not the full blown story. This quickly leads to saying how much you miss him.

You want to create a little mystery. You’re coaxing him to capitulate by toying with his psyche. Spilling your guts leaves no mystery. You are stronger now. If you can’t rein in your emotions, this meet up with your ex should be delayed until you are ready.

Meet up With Your Ex | He Wants to Get Back Together

If he says he wants to get back together, it’s great news, but hold on just a moment. I know this is what you want because you’re here on this site. This is what we call the shift, which occurs when he has a moment of weakness. This is when you gain the power in the situation.

You now can state what you want from him in a new relationship. Maybe, it’s to spend more time during the week with him or to stop partying as much as he does. Let him speak his concerns too. This is a far cry from you complaining and whining like before. Again, you now hold the power so use it.

Are you taking him back? Not yet you aren’t! You need time to consider everything you saw and heard from him first. You need to go home and think about things before you say yes. He might change his mind. You might change your mind because what he said just seemed like empty promises.

Talk to your friends and family. See what they think. If you decide to move forward, set up a one to two month trial period. This lets your ex know that he on probation and you will make your final decision in one to two months.

This is how you take your ex back.

Meet Up with Your Ex Summary

There are a lot of nuances to meeting up with your ex. How you act is controlled by his behavior. If he comes to the meeting fighting, blaming, and kicking then you quickly exit this meeting. You don’t need to say a thing. Simply exit the situation. You deserve better.

Reining in your emotions is part of the five step process to getting him back. You must be in an emotional state to do this or you will fail to get him back. Confidence, another step in the five step process, is the key to showing him the mistake he made when he broke up with you. It’s the first link in your new chain of power that you’re gaining in the relationship.

For more on planning to meet with your ex, check out Step Five of the Five Steps to Get Your Ex Back.

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