You’ve read this before, the power of silence after a break up works, but why? How does this affect him?

Silence is powerful. When my girlfriend goes silent on me, I know I’m in the doghouse for something I did wrong. How do I react? First, I reflect on what I did and then I reach out to her.

Depending on your situation your ex might react the same way. Especially if you’ve been begging him to return. This is the power of silence after a break up.

There is a slight nuance to consider.

I want to know what I did wrong so I can fix it. With a breakup, your ex wants to know why you went silent because he expects you to be begging him to come back. Your silence isn’t what he expects.

When you are silent, he realizes something changed. Maybe you’re angry because you heard something about him, or maybe you really don’t care about him anymore. Maybe you jumped off a cliff.

Or, maybe you met someone new!

That’s the one that really concerns him. You have confused him by doing something that wasn’t in his plan. This takes his mind off his single life and places it back on you. He wants you at his beck and call and that’s not happening.

But the power of silence after a break up is for you .

the power of silence after a break up

The Power of Silence After a Break up Allows Him to Start Missing You

He can’t miss you if you are badgering him to get back together. This just keeps his contempt towards you flowing, but when you are silent for two weeks, his contempt dissipates, and he starts thinking about you in a more positive light. He starts thinking of the good memories.

And memories are a bitch!

Will no contact make him move on?

This is the first step in reining him back in and to getting him to come back to you. He must miss you and that can only happen when the power of silence is deployed.

The Power of Silence After a Break up Allows You to Heal

This is critical. You can’t get him back if you don’t change. You can’t change until you have grieved the loss of him and the relationship and started the healing process. The silence allows this to happen. I can’t tell you how many women think they can get their ex back without this separation.

Assess the Breakup

Your silence gives you time to assess whether he is worth getting back. This is another critical step. Don’t just assume you want to get him back; assess whether he treated you right and is healthy enough for you to want him back.

In Step Two of the Five Steps to Get Him Back, you learn how to fully assess the relationship.

You Take Back Your Power

This step is not to be underestimated. It’s wonderful to know you are in control of your emotions and he is left wondering about you. It’s a big part of your healing process. During this time, many women stop blaming themselves for the breakup and begin to understand both parties were to blame.

This is when women get angry at their ex and that’s okay.

Your Ex Reaches Out to You

When you use the power of silence after a break up, you eventually get what you want. Most men will reach out if they still love you and you share enough great memories.

He may only be testing the waters to discover why you’ve been silent. Don’t take the bait. This is the time to be vague about what you have been doing, other than to say you’ve having a lot of fun.

Contact him but take your time.  When you do, listen to what he says.

Then, think things over and talk with your close friends before you determine a course of action.


The power of silence after a break up is a powerful tool for you and him. Use it. You can’t get back together without it. It allows you to heal and gives him time to miss you and wonder what you’re up to. You can assess where you went wrong, and how you can change your behavior moving forward. With any luck, he will do the same.

One or both of you must change for anything to be different and the silence allows time for this.

Memories are powerful. He can’t forget about all those great times you had together. He can’t go hiking without thinking about your trip to Zion last fall. He can’t to dinner without thinking how you spit out your wine after laughing so hard at his lame joke!

Now you know why the power of silence after a break up works!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This